If the time has come to get a divorce then, there’s no easy way to go about it. Getting a divorce is one of the worst things that will ever happen to you. At the moment, it may feel as though your whole world is crashing down around your feet. The important thing to remember during this hard time is that, whilst things are bad now, they will get better. In some time, you will start to feel more like yourself. For now, though you need to ride the divorce roller coaster.
Divorce will make you feel many unexpected things. A huge part of your life is changing so it is likely that you will go through a whirlwind of emotions during this period, before settling. In this time, it is important to gather the proper social support to help you through. Here are five remarkable ways a divorce will make you feel.
1. Low Self-Esteem
Many people who go through a divorce suffer from a bout of low self-esteem. It doesn’t matter whether you were married for twenty years or twenty days, a divorce will bring you down. You thought you’d found the right man for you, but now you realise that you were wrong. You may spend a short time blaming yourself for the divorce. Remember, relationships breakdown when both parties are at fault. You didn’t ruin the marriage all by yourself. The chances are that there wasn’t just one person at fault, you both contributed to the end of the relationship. Spend less time blaming yourself and more time focussing on what you need to be happy now.
2. Mood Disorders
Any underlying mood disorders that you may have been hiding will come out now. If any part of you is unstable, the mood disorder will come out when you are at your weakest. After a divorce, you will be at your lowest point. That means that when you’ve just had a divorce your mood might change a lot. You could have erratic mood swings and lows and highs. The good news is that this change in mood won’t last forever. If you feel that your mood has changed so much that it is a problem then, you should go to see your doctor who will be able to help you.
3. Sleep Loss
Sleep loss is a common thing that many people experience after a divorce. Part of the problem is that when you go to bed you realise that no one is coming with you. At night you are alone, which means you get time to think about everything that has happened. The important thing is to distract yourself. If you are struggling to sleep, make sure that you go to the gym in the evening. That way by the time you get into bed you will have made yourself tired. Try listening to an audio-book or some music, so that you’re not just alone with your thoughts.
People will tell you that you need to get back out there and meet new people. After a divorce, though you will feel like doing no such thing. If you have finished your divorce online, you may feel like it’s been years since you left the house. You will have the sudden realisation that everyone you know lives with their husband or wife. You won’t want to see married people, so you’ll stay in instead. Try and reconnect with other single people. As stupid as you may think it is, getting out there is the best way to begin moving on with your life.
If you and your ex have children together, things are a whole lot more complicated. Divorces can put unwanted strain on parenting, and you could end up feeling that your children are distant. It is vital that you don’t make your children pick sides. They are innocent parties in all this, and you need to keep things stable for their sake. Explain to them why you and their father are no longer together. Show them that it won’t impact their relationship with you or their dad by being there for them.
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